It wasn’t his first by a long shot. He’s old enough to know that too many questions about the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, or Santa could derail the money train.
He did what he was supposed to do. He taped it under his pillow. The Tooth Fairy was supposed to give him a buck or two and that would’ve been the end of it.
What can I say? I have no excuse. I’ve been wrapped up in the remodel that I’m doing in my house. It’s all I think about these days.
After two nights of Tooth Fairy no-shows, my son said to me while I was tucking him in, “Dad, why hasn’t the Tooth Fairy come to get my tooth?”
This, of course, hit hard. He’s growing up fast, but he’s still so innocent in many ways. It’s a parent’s job to keep the magic alive as long as possible, right?
I knew what I had to do.
I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at my beautiful son.
After I gathered my courage, I told him:
“The Tooth Fairy is a drinker, son. I’m guessing three, maybe four shots of tequila a night. She wasn’t always like that. When I was a boy, she was a strict vegan and a serious light-weight when it came to booze. But then the Easter Bunny and the other One-Nighters, like Santa, kept getting the spotlight despite that fact that Tooth was working nightly shifts – 365 days a year.
It started with wine coolers, then she started hitting malt liquors and Boons Farm. These days it’s all about the Cuervo Gold.
So, you see, son, she’s probably just sleeping off a binge and she’ll be back in business tonight.
If she leaves you Canadian money, don’t fuss about it. The Looney is stronger than the dollar right now.
Sweet dreams, little man… sweet dreams.”
Well, it looks like Jay is doing alright, despite the tooth fairy being a little loopy and late. Isn't that a fiver I see there in her teeth. He must have earned some pretty good interest on that late payment. He must have a few Italian boys with baseball bats on his side. :-)
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