What's For Dinner?

I’ve got the whole cooking-dinner-every-night thing figured out.

Fast food is super cheap and it’s everywhere. Tell your family that you have new menu ideas for dinner, then go buy fast food and dispose of all the wrappers.

It’s close to genius!

When you’re family gets sick (which they will), give them some raw vegetables for a few days until their bowls start working again, then get back to the easy stuff.

Here’s a sample menu:
Monday, get a bag of hamburgers and fries from McDonalds.
Tuesday, get a bag of the cheap tacos from Taco Bell.
Wednesday, get a bucket of chicken from KFC (use a coupon, they’re expensive).
Thursday, hit the dollar menu at Wendy’s and shake it up.
Friday, something chickeny from Jack in the Box.
Saturday and Sunday, act like you’re tired of cooking and maybe your spouse will cook something.

There are a couple of things you should watch out for.
First, your children will gain a scary amount of weight, get really lethargic, and may periodically vomit. This is normal, don’t freak out, just keep an eye on the diabetes.

Second, your family's taste buds will slowly dissolve. There's nothing you can do about that.

Third, you have got to keep the cob webs out of the kitchen and dust off the stove top regularly. If your spouse is cooking on the weekends, this should take care of itself.

Finally, if you live in a small town, you have got to disguise yourself and your car when you go to the franchises, so the high school students don’t start recognizing you. Throw on a Hannah Montana wig, and use that blue painters tape to give your ride a new look each week. Don’t use duct tape – it leaves sticky stuff on your paint job.

If I see a fake blond driving an SUV with 3” wide blue pinstripes in the drive-through, I’ll give you a nod and a wink.

Now go get some junk food and rent a movie (you have time now)!